Topic: Fur Babies
9/23/06
Today we had to say goodbye to Misty. It was so hard to do this. I miss her terribly, but I am comforted knowing that she is finally free of pain, illness and fear.
She had been so sick for so long. It had been over a year since she had very many "consecutive" days of being well.
For several months, she hardly played ball, never touched any of her toys, and never got up on the furniture.
She tried to be her old self in the last weeks. She began to play ball with me, tried a couple of times to climb up on the furniture. She spread her toys all over the house. She even climbed under my desk, so I couldn't get at my computer, and again starting taking my supplies, when I was trying to make minis.
In a way it gave me HOPE that she was finally getting better, but I think she was just trying to remind me of all the fun we had. The last two days she got me to go out to play ball with her, but each day went after only one ball. She buried those two balls, one on each side, in the space under my bedroom window, where I'd been planning a daffodil garden.
9/26/06
For many weeks, Misty could go up the spiral stairs, but couldn't get back down, so I would have to put on her leash and walk down with her, with me on the very narrow side.
When I was working in my studio today, I heard Misty wallking up the stairs. My heart skipped a few beats, and then I smiled. For a moment I really believed she was there, and worried that I hadn't brought her leash up with me.
9/27
My next door neighbor has two outdoor cats. They and Misty spent hours each day teasing each other through the fence. Now the cats are hanging out in my front garden. When I look out the window at them, they bob their heads up and down through the grasses like they are playing peek-a-boo. I swear they are trying to keep me smiling.
CHANGES (life without a fur baby)
The day started out as usual ... I got up,walked down the halls, headed for the coffee pot. On the way there I became happy, giddy, silly almost. The house was clean. It looked spotless. I didn't need to clean today.
HOORAY !!!! I'm going to spend the day in my studio. Yipee !!!!
I booted up the puter, downloaded my mail, and sang OUT LOUD as I deleted junk mail. I had no clue where this happiness was coming from. The sand man must have fed me a happy dose.
I was busily planning my day with minis, When I hear it ....
"LOCK THE DOOR" Huh? "LOCK THE DOOR" Ya right OK. My husband was reminding me to put the dead bolt on, after he left for work. We've decided to do this not for safety reasons, but to seal the door, so that less of the neighborhood smoke comes in.
And then it hit me ....
Smoke or no, I HAVE to lock the door. Misty is gone. She will not be laying in the bathroom doorway when I take a shower. She will not be planted by the front door when I go up to my studio.
For 27 years, I have never had to lock a door whan I was home. My fur doormen and woman never let anyone in without my permission. At times they would get very upset when I let people in without THEIR permission.
They always knew best.
Now I have to make the decsions. Now I have to go outside to greet the mailmen, delivery men, and solicitors.
The cat neighbor is trying. He sits by my front steps, jumps up and down, and appears to try to bark at everyone who goes by, but people ignore him. He does makes me smile every morning. This is his new job.
As far as the clean house ...
I don't have to spend an hour every day vacuuming up black hair. I don't have to crawl around picking up the dozens of toys and balls. I don't have to turn on every light in the house when I get up, for fear of tripping over fur kids or toys. I've lost a job that I've had for 27 years.
I know how blessed I have been to have had the three most incredible big black balls of fur, I've ever met. I know they came to me, when I needed them most. I have figured out what their purpose was in my life.
I know that I am now on the first step to my next adventure.
But today I am sad when I lock the door. Today I feel like I have no purpose, when I don't have to pull out the vacuum. Today I regret that I have all this time to spend in my studio.
More Pictures Of Misty
by miniaturereality
